Where do we go from here?

I can't explain the hopelessness you have with an invisible chronic disability.

At first - it's the struggle of the diagnosis, even getting the correct diagnosis. The battle against the red tape and the system. Against doctors asking you if it's really that bad, if it's all in your head because nothing shows up on tests. Then you find someone, just one person, who believes you - you have hope once more. You have a diagnosis.

Then; you have to keep defending yourself against everyone you know. Yes this is real. Yes this is my life. No I will never get better. There is no cure. It is chronic. I will improve, I will have remissions, but I will have relapses. This is the nature of the disorder.

"but medications!" people say, alas! of course! medications! Until you run out...until you are at the end of the barrel, and you stay on the last medication available to you, because it's better than nothing - at least that's what you're told.

You're fighting the government at every step, for access. Access to what? Access to everything - medications, doctors, allied health, rehab, welfare, the list goes on.

Where do we go from here? We don't know. There is no answer. But we keep going. Because one day; one day there might be an answer. One thing is for sure though - I definitely need those psychologist appointments.